Why the words you listen to matter

By Norah Maria

A word can either build or destroy, encourage or discourage.

Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

There are three categories of people you need to listen to because their words are powerful.

Family Member

Words spoken to us by those closest to us and love us most are the most powerful, thus the need for family members to be careful on what they say to one another.

For example when a parent is correcting his or her child there is a tendency to scold them and call them names.

But we need to remember that it does not have to hurt even if it is correctional.

Pull your child aside today and look them in the eye and assure them that you truly love them and they are your pride.

Talk about the positive things you see in them or something they did that made you really proud.

This will ignite positivity in them about who they are.

Such a conversation no matter how short will impact on your child greatly.

Furthermore, it does not need to end when they are adults.

Remind them how good they are even when they feel they have serious shortcomings.

This is because no matter how old they grow they will always be your children.

Husbands and wives equally need to embrace positive conversations.

As you think of correcting your spouse you may begin by mentioning to them the good things in them and about them.

Tell each other how proud of each other you are and mention the particular areas that stand out in your spouse.

This will foster peaceful atmosphere at home and the focus will be on building your family.

Parents also need encouragement.

How often do you call your parent or guardian to know how they are faring on?

Call your mum or dad today or pay them a visit; tell them you love them and you are proud of them.

Mention those particular contributions to whom you are today.

I am sure they will feel happy about themselves and your relationship will be closer.

Your workmate

Life has many challenges and there are so many hurting people hiding behind fake smiles and smart dresses.

Such challenges range from financial, social to emotional ones.

More often than not we don’t get to share what is going on in our lives especially our heartaches thus the need to encourage each other at work.

Remember we spend most of our time of the day at work hence the need to say hello when we meet in the morning.

You may ask your colleague how they are doing and wish them well at work.

Notice their beautiful dress, hairstyle and compliment them; I bet it will make them feel elated the whole day.

Spare some time during tea break, lunch break or any little opportunity to have a little chat with them.

If they share a challenge you may suggest a solution or simply wish them well as they try to find their way.

Make a follow up where necessary and walk the journey with them.

You can also crack jokes and have fun as colleagues enjoying each other’s company.

Notice something positive, for instance how organized she is as the secretary and praise her, notice how good he is at handling and satisfying customers and commend him.

Say it out to them and let them feel that their effort at work has been recognized.

Your work environment will in turn be warm and rejuvenation will in turn produce good results.


As you encourage others do not forget yourself.

Encouragement from others may not come along as often and to the same extent as is expected.

As such compliment yourself in the same measure you expect it from others.

Notice your strengths and focus on them.

This will encourage you a great deal.

Recognize the achievements and think more about them, even celebrate each step towards your goal and this will help you remain focused.

Notice your effort at work and enjoy your day at work.

Hard work in itself is a motivation because not everyone is able to work as hard as you do.

Be hopeful that you will be a better person.

Surround yourself with positivity.

Keep off pessimists and those who do not see any good in you.

Do not allow others to hinder your happiness.

Speak wellness to yourself, listen to uplifting music and read motivational quotes.

Remember that you are the driver of your own life thus choose to look at it positively.

Tell yourself that despite the obstacles you will make it to the destination.

Stop comparing yourself with others because you are special and unique.

The only battle you can win is being you; so choose it.

Step out now and encourage these three people!

  • The author is a counselor and teaches at Nyamira Boys High School in Nyamira County. Her contact: norahmaria88@gmail.com
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